


A Change of Perspective

by delorita, SilverFountains



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Brother Feels, Brotherly Love, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-11 05:05:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4422494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delorita/pseuds/delorita, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverFountains/pseuds/SilverFountains
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or "Fixing the Mess" as we originally called it. Very short shot to 'rectify' the shore scene in Battle of the Five Armies where we were given the impression that Kili was head over heels with Tauriel. This is what really happened ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Change of Perspective

Fili stares at Kili and Tauriel, _the elf!_ standing together, from a distance. He tries so very hard to shove their boat into the water together with Oin and Bofur but it won’t budge. _We really could do with another hand here brother!_ Fili thinks angrily. But he doesn’t really know of whom he’s so angry. Or Kili, Tauriel or even himself.

_Why did I let it come to this?! Why did I not have the courage to tell my little brother that I am in love with him. I mean, LOVE, as in head over heels? No wonder he’s looking somewhere else...gets all touchy feely with that elf._

_Alright, she saved his life. I need to be grateful and I AM but Kili looking up at her like THIS, not caring if we are already gone or not..._

“Kili! We need another hand here!” He yells frustrated.

Kili blinks hard at Tauriel. After all the troubles they'd faced it had been a welcome relief from nearly dying to find her taking a shine to him. It had intrigued him that an elfling could be interested in him like that. He had enjoyed the flirtiness between them; because it was something to do, something to take his mind of the discomfort of being on the road, hunted down by every foul creature in Middle Earth. And of course he was more than grateful that she had saved his life when the black poison had started to spread through his veins and made him delirious.

He hears his brother's call but throws him an annoyed look because he needs just a few more minutes to work out what had just happened. He turns back to the elven guard. "I... I don't know what that means," he stutters. Of course he does. Thorin had made sure he and Fili were at least proficient in the basics of the common tongue of men and the two Elvish main languages. _Know thy enemy better than thy brother,_ he can hear his uncle's baritone voice lecturing him. And so he realises something has gone very wrong. The elfling has mistaken his flirts and his gratitude for something much more than he'd ever intended.

"I think you do." The red haired elf woman smiles at him.

She's beautiful to her own kind, he's sure of that. And he thinks she's beautiful too, but only like a flower or a gemstone is beautiful. A treasure for the eye, not for the heart. For that she's way too tall and way too smooth. Besides, his heart already belongs to someone else.

Fili’s heart aches at the annoyed look, even more as it did before. _What is this!? Is he going to leave us altogether after what we have been through and goes with her, as smitten as he is?_

Fili is torn. One half wants to go there and make a declaration of love of his own in the middle of all this chaos, but the major part of him just fuses with dwarvish stubbornness and he pushes at the side of the heavy boat, growling.

Kili glances over his shoulder again, at his brother, Bofur and Oin heaving at the heavy boat.

"They need my help... " he says softly, unsure what else to say to someone who has just declared her unrequited love to him.

"They are your people..." Tauriel nods in seeming understanding. She holds her head high, her elvish pride and stoicism holding her upright. But Kili feels the sting of her hurt at his rejection.

"I'm sorry." He turns to his brethren, taking several steps forward towards the boat.

Fili is more than relieved to see Kili is finally coming towards them. But he's also afraid it might be to say goodbye. His heart hammers high in his throat as his brother is only a few feet away from him.

"Kili."

The dwarf prince bites his lip as the elf woman calls his name. He feels completely at a loss what to do next. He knows he should just keep on walking and join his brother to finally make their way to Erebor, the home they'd fought so hard to get to. But Tauriel's plea makes him stop. He feels enormously guilty that he'd given his rescuer the wrong impression. After all he likes her a lot and he doesn't like the thought of breaking her heart.

As he turns she grabs his hand, placing a smooth cold object in it. He stares down in surprise at the promise stone his mother had given him. "I thought I'd lost it..." he utters. "T-thank you." He looks up at Tauriel, finding her smile at him.

"Keep it safe. As a promise," Tauriel says softly.

He's not sure what promise she's expecting from him and whether he can honour it. But as the elvenking's son appears behind Tauriel he knows there is no time for more questions or words. And so he nods and sticks the runestone into his pocket. Then he turns to run towards the boat which the others have now managed to pull into the water.

_Finally!_

Fili sighs and starts rowing, the way too large oar giving him trouble but he bites his lip in determination putting all his strength into his strokes.

He cannot look at Kili. He's afraid to see the hurt in his eyes about having to leave his chosen one. He wonders though what made his brother do it.

Loyalty? Honour to be a prince of Durin or...

Fili dares to look up briefly.

Kili stares hard at the ripples the oars are making in the lake. Suddenly life feels way too complicated. When they'd set out on this journey it had felt like the greatest adventure of his life. Now he feels like he's aged ten times over, bearing the scars of maturity on his body and in his heart.

But the journey has also taught him many things. That Thorin trusts and values him as an archer and a fighter. That Middle Earth beyond the Blue Mountains is nothing like what he'd imagined it to be. But most of all it has taught him about love. True love. About the person who holds his heart and who he would die for if he had to.

As he looks up he finds his brother look back at him. He sees the peak of the mountain of their kingdom rise up behind him and smiles a tired smile. "We're nearly home, brother."

 _I am home where you are._ Fili almost murmurs but doesn't. Doesn't dare to say it with the other two around in the middle of a lake that is soiled by dragon blood. So he only nods, not able to speak around the heavy lump in his throat.

As they row he keeps stealing glances at Kili, how healthy he looks again, how strong he has become in half of a day. His old self. But his eyes... There's so much thoughtfulness in them now, grief, the sparkle of youth almost completely gone and it makes his own heart ache even more.

_What else will that mountain bring us?_

The boat hits the rocky shore with a bump. As they climb out of the vessel Kili throws one last glance back at the opposite shore, but all he can see is a mass of moving bodies amidst the rubble like a giant ant hill. He sighs and returns his gaze to the foot of the mountain.

His instinct is to grab his brother's hand. Two intense emotions hit him at once and make him sway on his feet. The first is a feeling of belonging. This is where their roots are. This is their kingdom, their home and they've made it, FINALLY!

But beneath that feeling of elation lies something disturbing. Something of great unease that makes his stomach turn. Although the dragon is lying dead in the centre of the lake he cannot shake the feeling that a greater evil still resides here, lying in waiting for them. "It's too quiet..." he says softly. _Are they all dead? Did the dragon kill them? Or something else...?_  

At those words, Fili grabs for his brother’s hand as he has done so often when they were dwarflings and he could sense the fear radiate from little Kili.

He isn’t little anymore and tries to hide his fear well, but still Fili feels the overwhelming need to protect his sibling. His anger has subsided as soon as they jumped out of the boat. “Yes, it is way too quiet.” He swallows, looking up at the mountain they have to climb on a steep path. “I do not like this _at all!”_

As soon as his brother's finger entwine with his Kili feels himself relax. It might be a childish gesture but right now he doesn't care. It's a tangible assurance that at least at the moment they are both alive and well.

He looks to the others. Even Bofur who is normally full of beans, has gone awfully quiet.

“I wonder if they are already inside.” Fili whispers, not daring to speak loudly for some reason, his heart beat speeding up when Kili grabs his fingers tightly. He squeezes back, not intending to let go very soon.

"I guess there's only one way to find out. Let's go," Kili says with determination, realising that he and Fili are the leaders of their little group now as Bofur and Oin are looking to them for instruction.

And so they begin the steep climb towards the gates of Erebor in silence, each caught up in their own thoughts and fears for their loved ones inside that mountain.

As they reach the end of the path and lay eyes on the enormous gates and stone walls of Erebor, Fili momentarily stops, gasping in awe, pulling his brother to a halt as well. After they’d walked on their own for a while, he’d searched his hand again, the emotions just too overwhelming to carry them all on his own. He needs to share, wants to share, can’t bear when Kili is only a few steps behind him. He belongs to him like he’s his other half.

“Please can you go on.” Fili says firmly to their healer and Bofur. “We will be right with you,” he says, surprised about his own voice. Strong and kind of commanding, just as Thorin had taught him to use as his heir.

As their two brothers in arms nod and walk on, Fili turns to face his brother, swallowing, his emotions so intense, he almost cannot speak at all. “ _Nadad_ …” he starts but then stops, searching for words, trying to sort his whirling thoughts.

"Fili?" Kili furrows his brow. "We should follow them. We don't know what's inside that mountain." Then he sees something in his brother's eyes that makes him halt his tongue. "Are ... Are you alright?"

Fili lets Kili’s words sink in and slowly nods, looking straight in those brown orbs he loves so much. “Yes, let's go on.” He says determinedly, deciding that what he wanted to say can wait a little while longer. The moment is just too important for all of them.

Kili gives his brother a little smile and nods, holding his hand tight as they step into the broken home of their ancestors.

The brothers' eyes grow wide as they take in the halls of stone that they had heard so many tales about from their elders. They are both lost for words but they can sense each other's deep emotions just as well as they make their way inside.

Bofur and Oin have waited for them just inside and follow them quietly across the bridges deeper into the mountain. The air feels heavy, like there isn't enough oxygen in the air to breathe. The smell of smoke mixed with the smell of earth and metals.

And they all almost jump out of their skin when Bilbo comes rushing towards them, yelling at them to get out.

+++

Kili flops down on the bed, a cloud of dust erupting as he does so which sends him and Fili into a coughing fit. When they both look at each other through teary eyes he laughs sadly. "Well, I'm not sure about you but none of this feels like the long awaited home coming I'd longed for."  

"No. It does not." Fili sits carefully down beside Kili to avoid another cloud of dust. "Especially Thorin. I...I thought he wouldn't...he was always so strong..." Fili shakes his head and then puts it into his hands, sighing from the bottom of his heart. "What do we do now Kee?"

“Hey.” Kili is shocked to see his brother this upset, this vulnerable. Fili had always been the calculated and calm one of the two of them. He always had a sensible answer for everything. Well, at least in Kili’s eyes he did. So he puts an arm around his big brother. “I am sure he will snap out of it.” He isn’t quite so sure as he sounds though. He had never seen Thorin like that either. With that glint of madness in his eyes. Like he would kill anyone who as much extended a finger towards all that gold ... “At least we are here. Together.”

“Yes.” Fili looks up surprised as he feels Kili’s arm around his shoulder. He also feels very grateful for the fact that they have survived the disaster of their journey so far. He looks into those big brown orbs again, suppressing the urge to stroke Kili’s fringe out of his forehead.

“ _Amrali mê, nadad._ ” It just slips out of his mouth, as his hand grabs for Kili’s forearm. _There is no time to be wasted to finally say it._ Fili’s heart tells his puzzled mind.

Kili blinks. “You love me?” He is not entirely sure how to interpret that. “I … I love you too. Do you mean … as a brother? Or …?” He bites his lip, not sure whether to guess further.

“I love you so much, Kee, that...seeing you with Tauriel…” Fili looks away. “Hurt like you’d shot one of your arrows straight into my heart…” He murmurs under his breath, not used to such emotional speech.

“Really? You really mean it?” Kili’s eyes flicker with a glow of pure happiness. “ _Amrali mê ya!”_ he beams. Then he realises what his brother had said after his declaration of love. “Tauriel?” he sighs and shakes his head. “I had not intended for her to … well … feel like that.”

Fili takes his brother’s face into his hands gently. “Seeing you with her, made me realise that I...that I want you all to myself.” He slowly moves forward a little.

Kili cannot help but laugh at that. He digs his hands deep into Fili’s blond curls. “My beautiful brother,” he smiles widely, “you can have me all to yourself. You have always only had me to yourself.” And he presses his lips against Fili’s, long and soft.

Fili squeezes his eyes shut with so much relief that he doesn’t notice the tears that slide from the corners of his eyes down his temple. Those lips and those words make him forget the question about what they are going to do next completely.

_He loves me too!_

Fili moves back a little to look at Kili. His brother’s eyes snap open as he stops the chaste kiss, which immediately makes him press his own lips against Kili’s again. Something inside wants more and so he slowly darts the tip of his tongue out to lick curiously.

 _This is nice. Yes, this is how love feels!_ Kili wraps his arms even tighter around his brother’s neck, pressing the tip of his own tongue against his brother’s until somehow that touch melts into an even deeper kiss. He closes his eyes now, sinking into the feeling of warmth and safety and feeling like he belongs. 

Fili sneaks his arms around Kili’s waist, pulling him as close as possible with all the clothes they’re wearing. _“Amrali mê, Kili,”_ he whispers once more and fuses their mouths together again, wanting to get lost in that feeling of kissing his brother deeply for a while longer before they have to face whatever awaits them.

But knowing that Kili feels the same about him, does not want to leave him, makes it all a lot easier somehow. He caresses his tongue against Kili’s playful one and stays right in the moment, grateful that they’re both alive and strong and _together._

"You didn't really think that I would choose an elf over you, did you _nadadê_?" Kili playfully cocks his head, twirling his brother's braids between his fingers. "Did you think I'd forgotten our promise?"

"I...well...the way you acted after she healed you..." Fili looks down, not able to form a whole sentence. "I thought you did not want me close anymore..." _But maybe Kili's behaviour in Lake Town was still an aftereffect of the orc poison?_

"I was not myself," Kili shakes his head. "Tauriel is nice enough. But she does not have my heart. I know we never said it like this before. But when I made you my promise to be by your side always, I meant it in every way. And our tribulations on the road have only strengthened by love and admiration for you. _Astu sakhliti kurdê.”_ He smiles, taking his brother’s hand and placing it over his heart. “ _Hu_ _takradi dastû izul.”_

Fili mirrors Kili’s gesture, his gaze a bit blurry with all the emotion he is feeling, his heart pounding like mad. “I am...I cannot say how relieved I am Kee.” He feels Kili’s precious heart beat through his heavy tunic even and repeats his brother’s words in Khuzdul, like an oath. “ _Astu sakhliti kurdê.”_ Another soft kiss onto those beautiful lips. “ _Hu_ _takradi dastû izul.”_

Kili smiles the widest smile since they set out on their perilous journey. He curls himself into his brother's lap, for the first time in months feeling safe enough to relax completely. They both know that more trouble lies ahead, what with Thorin already succumbing to the dragon sickness and enemies close on their heels still. "As long as we're together I can face anything that the Valar throw at us.”

“ _Kun_.” Fili strokes Kili’s wild hair out of his face. “Together we will find a way, _naddith_.” He allows himself to enjoy their private moment just a little while longer before the company will look for them to find a solution for the new mess they are in.  


End file.
